Sigh of Pure Bliss.....

Ahh....
Guess what? All last night I dreamed about "My Knight." And then all this morning I've been thinking about him. You see, in our back yard we have this big ol' tree that's really sturdy. So we put this little swinging chair on it that had cushions and everything; you can fit three people at most in there two sitting, one laying across. I've tried this with two of my buddies, Caylee and Taylor at my 13th birthday party about a month ago. But then I thought of what it would be like on a warm summer's day holding "My Knight" in my arms. Nothing "dirty," as most people call it, just me, "My Knight," and nature all around us.
When I liked Charlie, all I thought about was holding him. Most thought I had a weird desire for him, like making-out or something, but I never told them all I wanted to do was be around him at the very least. So, I'm revealing my true colors now. I hate to say it, but in some ways, I still wish it would've worked out. Especially if SOME PEOPLE wouldn't have told him what I thought about him, I could've given him hints along the way. But life isn't perfect and the day after telling my friends that I liked Charlie, he knew it. Then the ultimate war of love and hate started on October 14th, 2008 and just ended on February 12th this year. Yeah. It's kind of sad that I keep track of all of this. I guess there's still part of me that KINDA wants him. But I'm trying my hardest not to give into it. Besides, "My Knight" would take it differently if he found out. He might actually think it's "cute" that a 7th grader likes him. Hopefully; probably not; never. Sigh.
Life is complicated.
So, today I have to get to church by 10:15 am to practice my Hebrew solo (I guess you could call it a duet, actually, Stephanie is singing in a different key than me) in the song When You Believe from the Prince of Egupt movie. You have to admit, it's a pretty good movie. Being animated and all. And I like how they make all of the people seem like, well, people. Because, whenever I hear a story from the Bible about someone, everyone there seems so formal. When I think of Jesus I try to think of an average Jewish man that smiles a lot and has personalit and charisma. Like when they talk about Jesus' birth, it wasn't snowing, the animals weren't all beautiful and pristine, and there certainky weren't halos around their heads. Heck, they weren't even outside! Back then, barns were in caves. There would have been pain, blood, and everything that goes along with childbirth without modern medicine. And this is what makes it even more amazing. God didn't send Jesus to earth on a fluffy cloud or something, no, he wanted to make him more human so we could get along with him better. And I bet if any modern religious people read this, they'll stone me to death! I just wish everyone understood that nobody really talked that formal then and did things perfectly. There was passion, trouble, happiness and so much more like there is today. If you suddenly came up with a time machine, I would take everyone with me to see that by the means of thoughts and emotions, nothing has really changed in humankind. There's your thought for today. Send me comments on what you think!!!
SEEYA!!!
With Love,
Bella